i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
