hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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