what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
