he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize