Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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