Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do vagina's smell?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
