I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
