well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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