Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
