this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
