Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
