They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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