Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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