Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
