Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
