it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If I die, sorry about rent.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
