i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
