We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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