ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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