We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
