I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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