You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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