Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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