upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
