Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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