Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
third nipple confirmed
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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