Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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