dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
