So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
