I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
