you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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