I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize