I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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