But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
