Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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