the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Last time i carry you out of a forest
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
