I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
