i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
