the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
