you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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