he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
