My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
