I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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