whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize