i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We are all done wearing pants today
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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