what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
