I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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