what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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