Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why do cheetos always look like penises
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
