I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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