Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
