I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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