At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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