I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
