my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
