This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
