But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize