We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
