she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
