my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
